a new year and a fresh start

I never make new years resolutions. I always found them shallow and no one ever followed through with them to February, let alone the whole year. Seeing everyone around me say “I’m going to start exercising” or “I’m going to read a book a month” always seemed like a sad version of lent, still over by Easter but with less promise of chocolate by the end of it. So, I never made them! This year I wanted to try something though. I’ve been in a rut or a funk of sorts. Eight months post grad is definitely a transitional period. And if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s transitional periods. I’m big on structure, and knowing what’s next. Here in this phase of my life, everything is new. I’m living in a new city, trying to make new friends, create a new lifestyle, and it’s hard! Sometimes I sit on the subway on my way home and I think “what am I doing here?”. It’s always been my dream to live in New York, and have a job in the arts, and that’s what I’m doing! I should be the happiest girl in the world. But things have been off, and I’m giving myself a bit of grace because change is difficult, and I’ve been going through a ton of change. So, this new year I made a pinterest board and an ins and outs list. I wanted to freshen up my perspective and keep things positive. Some of my ins include “loving the world I live in”, “calling loved ones”, “throwing out things that no longer serve me”, and “radical positivity”. Some outs include “thinking the world is against me” (it’s not!), "believing anxious thoughts”, and “letting myself spiral after 8pm”. I DESPERATELY need to start turning off my brain at night. Nothing good comes through the ole noodle after a certain hour, and I need to stop believing every awful thought I have. My pinterest board says similar things much more eloquently and aesthetically, so I’ll link that too. Anywho, I suggest these kinds of habits rather than hard and fast resolutions. This way, if I’m feeling down or back in my rut, I’ll go through my ins and outs list and scroll through my pinterest board and see if I can’t shake myself out of it. No huge expectations, no rules, just words to remember that will hopefully make me a better version of myself. Happy New Year,

R.D.C.